Saccharine Thoughts

Just want to share this article by one foul-mouthed badass via another . It's aptly-time, not because I'm blogging teary-eyed from a Kmart parking lot (I'm not) but because today I did reach the end of my rope. Tolerance for bullshit is shot, patience and resources waning, and faith in people at an all-time low because lately, they've proven to be a royally disappointing bunch.

In the month or two that I've been so carelessly absent here, my living situation has been decidedly... undecided. The roommate with whom I signed a 14-month lease expressed interest in moving out back in May (lease ends October 19) and followed through on her whim to bail in June, leaving me with our ideal 2/2 apartment and double rent. Coincidentally, a friend fresh out of A&M thought he might take the spare room but has yet to find a job, so that fell through. I had plans of subletting a friend's apartment when he leaves for school in September and thought I would just tough out the double rent until then. That plan went ka-put as well, and probably for the better. I made the solid decision last week to re-sign the lease on my own. Yes, that is just how much I love this apartment, the location, the people... Vaulted ceilings, spacious layout, washer/dryer connections, colorful accent walls painted by yours truly, all this tucked away in Austin's Greenbelt with a bea

I recently had a discussion with a friend regarding faith - religious and otherwise. This topic was specifically inspired by her noting how much I invest in other people, while being unable to devote myself to a religious view. She asked some seriously great questions for me to ponder and eventually answer. This was a killer opportunity to learn from her ideas as she is strongly of the Christian faith, while establishing and organizing my own thoughts and beliefs. Thus I feel it appropriate to share, per her permission, with you. "People are self-centered by nature," she explained. "I don't put any faith in them. Being hopeful that they will respond to my love in kind is important, but it's about having the right expectations so that I'm not caught off guard by disappointment." This is something I intensely disagree with. While she loves and feels the need to help people, my friend finds all strength, recognition, comfort and encouragement that she needs

Hope is something innate in the human psyche, something imbedded in the brain that allows us to see a spark of sunlight on a dreary day. For me it is something that doesn’t just keep me afloat through the maelstroms of life, but that gives me reasons to smile everyday. However childish or whimsical this is it is how I have been wired; hope is my fuel. As I age I notice that thoughts, feelings, changes and decisions become more important and thus a little more frightening, yet my faith in the positive seems to hold strong. I have to ask myself now though, is there a point when the naiveté of hope becomes a hindrance? The Greeks personified Hope as Elpis – a childlike being housed with all the evils of the world in Pandora’s box. Elpis was the only item to remain captive when the other evils were released, and was said to have been set free when mankind could not manage the other evils without it. This begs the question: what on earth was hope – humanity’s antidote to despair

My Morning Elegance Where in me lies my elegance? My charm? The morningtime provides a time of innocence, that time when the light still barely peeks through my muslin curtains, before I’ve been polluted by the negativity of the outside world. It’s in that filmy state of mind when I’m truly me, made up of only my own thoughts. So what is it in the morning that glows through my being that makes the person lying next to me roll over and feel the immediate need to wrap his arms around me and not let go? Whatever it is, I can only hope I wear it throughout the day. There are those mornings when I feel it slip away as my bare feet touch the floor. Like waking from a dream, the sparkles fade from my demeanor. Those sparkles are what I fight for daily; to not lose them, to not let them be sucked from my smile by the monotony of the day. It is those sweet moments of beauty and hope that all too often get glossed over, those seconds in life that make me pause and smile that let me know it’s wo

At least let's hope so. I began today with a 3-hour visit to an orthopedist and came out with a band-aid on my knee. Oh, the irony. I've actually torn my ACL, again, along with the lateral meniscus, again. Just when I was getting my balance back, climbing strong, making real improvements and feeling great about myself, I'm careless and take a fall that could have been prevented, or at least minimized. A rewind button would be really, really handy right about now, as I look gloomily at 2 months in an immobilizing brace, 4 months of physical therapy and 6-9 months off of climbing. Lame doesn't even begin to describe this impending year. Now I am seeking out the silver lining of the big dark cloud that just unleashed a downpour on my parade. Surely there is something rosy here, right? I'll have an allograph, meaning this time they won't be removing a tendon from somewhere else in my body to replace this one. Big plus. Hopefully it will speed recovery time, and lea